CB INTERVIEW WITH HAM & ROY 6/3/2003

SATCHEL

(1)-Give us some background info on ya-we wanna know ya better!

HAM-Well,it depends on which picture you use for this interview doesn't it? If you use the donkey picture then the background is the petting zoo.If you use the recent picture taken for the UMTV DVD then the background is a lovely white wall.

(2)-Tell us how you hooked up with CAROLINE BLUE?

HAM-Is that your question? Anyway,the true story is that Kenny and I were trying to form a band for quite some time now when we placed an ad in Teen People for a singer.After many auditions,we finally settled on Wayne.

(3)-How does it feel to be the winner of the 2003 Butt-Poll-abit tied with Roy St. James-former B-Ass Guitarist for CAROLINE BLUE?

HAM-What does "abit" mean? Do you mean "albeit?" And what is this "B-Ass" nonsense? Is that some sort of cleaver joke you saw on Beavis and Butthead? I'll bet you went to see the movie "The Pianist" just so you could laugh hysterically whenever someone said the title of the film. If you don't watch yourself son,I'll fire you and the whole crew! I'm sorry,what was the question again?

(4)-What's it like working and being in CAROLINE BLUE?

HAM-Why are the words "Caroline Blue" always in caps? Stop yelling at me! Anyway,it's a brilliant honor to be the co-winner of the perfectly "legitimate" and ever-so-important Butt Poll." I haven't been more proud since I won the "Best Left Elbow" poll last year.

BUCKY

(1)-Has Wayne given you any type of clue as to what type of woman he likes?

HAM-Wayne has multiple personalities (which come out in every facet of his work),so I'm sure each one likes a different kind of woman.

(2)-Did you do anything special to get ready for the Butt-Poll? Special diet,exercises,etc...

HAM-Is a Butt-Poll anything like a Tractor Pull? If it is,I want no part of it and I'm not sure why you're asking me these asinine questions.I'm very offended and insulted.

(3)-What's your opinion of past B-Ass guitarists for CAROLINE BLUE? (Roy St. James/Jamie Criscione/Lane Pieroni/Da Scooner/Randy Grey).

HAM-Again with the yelling and the B-Ass thing.You'd think one person wrote all of these questions instead of an entire incompetant crew.To answer your question,I don't know any of those guys.I'm sure they're all lovely and talented individuals.

(4)-Our sources tell us you were once a wrestler on TV...give us the scoop on that...

HAM-Well,it's a long story.When the Earth was young,they were already old.Wait,wrong story.Way back in the fiscal year of 1996 I was in a local wrestling group.We had a cable access show and wrestled in some colleges,town fairs,and car races.We had a show schedualled at The State Fair in 1998 when the "Labor day Storm" hit and cancelled The Fair for the 1st time ever. I believed it happened because we had a show schedualed.

RICO

(1)-The 2002 Butt-Poll winner,Johnny Rock,managed to go on a lengthy tour promoting his book called "How to make PCs (Priceless Cheeks)." What do you hope to do now that you are the 2003 winner?

HAM-Fire the Crew.

(2)-Any words for your co-champion Roy St. James?

HAM-I really enjoy his guitars that have "Roy" written on them.I should start doing that. That way I'd know what instrument was mine.I wonder if he lives with alot of people and he does that so no one will take his stuff-kinda like writing your name on the milk or something.

(3)-Come clean with us Ham-are you really a Ms. Pac-man Fan/Champ?

HAM-I'm always clean and I don't appriciate the insinuation.Yes,I am the current and reigning Ms.Pac-Man Champion of the world.I dare anyone to try to challenge me.

(4)-On the Forum,we see that one of your fav bands is the Village People....now Wayne & Roy St. James have been ragged on for their supposed "gayness"...what's your take on that and have the Village People made you want to try..."other options?"

HAM-Honestly,I like the band but they are not one of my favorites.I think Wayne keeps saying things about them because I mentioned I wanted to see their concert at the Turning Stone casino on the same night that we had to play a show near there in somebody's broom closet.No,I never wanted to try "other options." Why Rico,do you fancy me? I don't appriciate getting hit on in an interview! Okay,that's it.You're fired.Everyone's fired.

SATCHEL

(1)-What have you been up to? We haven't heard from you in awhile...

ROY-Very busy with Love Bone and setting up tour dates with Raven.

(2)-How does it feel to be the winner of the 2003 Butt-Poll-abit tied with the current CAROLINE BLUE B-Ass player Ham?

ROY-It is a priveliege only a few can have.Someday Ham and I will have to Ham-mer it out to see who is the true Butt-Poll winner.

(3)-What was it like being in CAROLINE BLUE? How does it compare to Love Bone?

ROY-CAROLINE BLUE was an adventure.It set the ground rules to get back into playing live and playing with Wayne again.Helping out an old friend.Comparing CB to LB or FLM for that matter is totally different.Playing with Chuck and Keith in Love Bone is a tight rhythm section.I wish only the best of luck for Wayne abd CAROLINE BLUE.

(4)-What does the future hold for Roy St. James?

ROY-Roy St. James may appear in the future.

BUCKY

(1)-You saw CAROLINE BLUE with their new bassist Ham...what did you think?

ROY-He is not Roy St. James but he does fit the part with Wayne.

(2)-Did you do anything special to get ready for the Butt-Poll? Special diet,exercise,etc.

ROY-No.However,since I have been sick,the weight loss goes with the sickness.

(3)-What's the origin of your current band's name?

ROY-It came from a Poison song called "I Hate Every Bone in Your Body But Mine." I thought of LoveBone immediately.

(4)-What's with all this gay stuff? Both you and wayne have been ragged on,but you're married and Wayne has been formerly married.What are your thoughts on this?

ROY-(FLM)-Mike,Jerry,and myself have been wondering about Wayne for years...the stripers,police,and the bearded lady at the Binghamton convenient store.

RICO

(1)-The 2002 Butt-Poll winner,Johnny Rock,managed to go on a lengthy tour promoting his new book "How to make PCs (Priceless Cheeks)." What do you hope to do now that you're the 2003 winner?

ROY-Follow in the same footsteps as Johnny and hold the trophy up high!

(2)-What cause you to leave CAROLINE BLUE?

ROY-Wayne wanted me to cut my hair and wear a wig like Paul Stanley.

(3)-Any words for your co-champion Ham?

ROY-It's Ham-mer time.You can't touch this.

(4)-Come clean with us once and for all...give us the skinny on your fan Club for Men...

ROY-Wayne is the president.I am the silent partner that pays the small bucks so Wayne will do the things that he does.However,most of the time I do not have to pay.He can accomplish much of it on his own.It seems to follow him.